Baby C is Here!

He arrived late - only by a few days - but those last few days were torture - I was starting to think I would be pregnant FORever..

Anyhow, it all started on Friday, 10/1 at around 5:00pm. I was watching tv - being miserable and huge - S was in the study hiding from me - when - OUCH..This pain hit me - yikes. I dismissed it, until it happened again and again and again. S called into me asking what was wrong and I informed him that I thought I might be having contractions - but was sure it was just a tummy ache from the (large) bite of doughnut I had a little while before this. Well, I started to time these pains and they were coming in shorter time increments and getting more painful. I called my OB and was told to head over to the hospital. So I packed the rest of my hospital bag and we were on our way to have a baby.

Being that this was my first experience with labor - I had no idea how bad the pain of a contraction could be..WOW..It is an inhuman soul ripping pain that makes one want to die..So I was admitted into the hospital, poked with a needle repeatedly to start an IV and subjected to an exam by a large scary midwife who announced that I was only 2 centimeters dilated and that this was going to take a LOOOONG time.. What?! No, seriously, get this baby out NOW - I can't stand this pain.

After a while (maybe a few hours), I was moved into what would be my labor and delivery room. By this point, it was around midnight and the pain was exhausting me. The very nice nurse with an accent gave me a shot of something amAZing and I drifted off to a pain free cloud. I was in and out of consciousness for who knows how long until the sharp pain of a contraction brought me right back to the reality that I was having a baby..PLEASE can I have more drugs? Now, I must admit that I was going to try to wait until I could have an epidural, I had no plans for the pre pain med pain med..I was afraid I would be sick or too high. Well, at that point, I didnt care - shoot me - hit me with a mallet just stop the pain.

The same accented nurse told me that I could not have anything else - but she would get someone to check my progress - GREAT..Maybe it is time for the famed epidural. Well, after another unfortunate exam, I was informed that I was now less dilated than I was earlier..WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Insert cursing here..How could that be? I have been having contractions for like a decade here..Ok, so that meant I could have another shot of happy. Only this time, this wonder drug did nothing for the pain. I was stuck in the twilight pain zone- I could feel pain but was so out of it. I told S, I am still in alot of pain - WTF?!?!?!?!?

Meanwhile, the doctor had been in to check on me, told me to sit tight as it will be a long night..OH YAY...

Anyhow, back to pain management or lack thereof. After some time in pain, I told the nurse. I have to interject here that my nurse with the accent was so very patient with me, I really have no idea how those labor and delivery nurses do it- all I kept doing was complaining about the pain..

So, after what seemed like an eternity of drifting in and out of a painful haze - yet another exam to see why I was in so much pain was performed. I guess this was a few hours later, I really have no concept of time for that night. Surprise - this exam had me at 9 centimeters dilated. Count 'em - NINE..I had to ask her to repeat it - How can that be? Will someone please tell me what is going on? All the while S is by my side - at this point as confused as I am.

Now, the lights were turned on - nurses descended on my room - one of them said "It's time to have a baby" - the level of panic that took over was off the charts - nothing I had ever experienced. Panic, fear - everything rolled up into one giant fireball. "NO NO NO" I kept saying "I haven't had my epidural" The thought of having this baby without one was not an option. So, after some confusion and consulting with the doctor and the nurses, in came the anesthesiologist to grant me the famed epidural. The hardest part of this procedure was staying still as my contractions were still strong and evil.

Here is where my story gets fuzzy I assume due to drugs and exhaustion. I think S (who was by my side in the uncomfortable looking chair) dozed for a while, waiting to have the light thrown on again and the pushing to begin. We would wait for longer than we expected.

Around 9:00 am on what was the next day, a new nurse came in to check on me. It seems that my contractions had slowed down in the past few hours and needed to be sped up for me to deliver. This was a job for pitocin, the drug that is given to induce labor. So it was added to my IV. At this point, S and I were both awake and eager to have this baby. I was eating ice chips and he went to get a coffee. We were chatting and watching the Ryder Cup. You KNOW I was desperate to get my mind off the impending birth if I was watching golf on TV.

Then, around 10:30 or so, in comes my OB and informs me that it is time to start pushing. Ok, I think, this is it - I am ready- I waited a long time for this, I can do it.. The first few times I pushed, it wasn't so bad, I didn't feel a whole lot of pain, "Piece of cake" I think. OH BOY - was I wrong. Before long, I could feel every contraction and the urge to push was incredible. I'm sure you have seen those birthing shows or even birth depicted in the movies or on tv where the poor woman is screaming about the need to push - well - at one point, I was begging "please let me push" - apparently there is an optimal time during a contraction when pushing yields the greatest results.

I'm not going to lie here- labor was the most intense painful out of body experience I have ever had. I was a sweating, screaming lunatic, whimpering and saying that I couldn't do it anymore. But I had to - I kept thinking about how much I wanted to meet my son. So with the final push - out he came - screaming his little lungs out. What I felt at that moment, when the nurse placed him on my chest- before he was cleaned off was pure joy and love - clear and present - seeing him scream and squirm was other worldly. I was in awe - the rest of the room blurred and it was just me and this being that I had nurtured for nine months - just the two of us, together at last.

So after this amazing moment with my new son, he was whisked away to be cleaned and weighed and all that medical jazz. Little did I know that while I was welcoming my little one, I was also losing a LOT of blood. I had no idea how bad it was until I saw blood soaked lap pads and was being given shots and medication and there was a bit too much activity around me. In the end, the bleeding was brought under control.

The next few hours were spent holding the baby and drifting in and out of sleep, due to the blood loss and the mass infusion of drugs. We stayed in the hospital until Monday, now we are all home and trying to get used to each other.

It is hard to believe that it has been almost two weeks since that first pain. In a way I am glad as the birth experience still makes me weak in the knees. It hurt and was scary, I know I will never do it again. And why would I? I have my son, who, to say that I love him, would be so cliche. I have no words to describe how I feel about this little screaming pooping eating machine.

My future with Baby C is out there - I don't know what it will hold, who will he become, who I will become as a mom. I just know that I am thrilled to have him here in my life. My miracle baby who wasn't even suppose to be here..

Stay tuned for a whole new set of adventures. xo