I'm Still Here

Well - Hello....
Long time no see - c'mon in - have a seat - may I get you a beverage?

Wow - time flies when you have a newborn..And every moment seems to be taken up by the following - in no particular order...

1. feeding baby - formula - go ahead and judge if you must - but there was NO WAY I was putting my body thru anything else - you try having a postpartum hemorrhage and then we will talk;
2. changing baby (GAG)- this boy sure is regular - and he is always so proud of himself and really likes the poopy song I sing - complete with the dance (what happened to me????);
3. playing with baby - making sure he works on his hand/eye coordination, stimulating his senses, developing good motor skills - all while he sucks his fingers;
4. rocking/strolling baby - when he is fussy and/or tired - also accompanied by a silly song;
5. doing baby's laundry - between the spit up and diaper explosions - I do one to two loads a day - and he isn't tall enough to reach to do it himself - YET;
6. trying to feed myself - sometimes a frantic barely chewed meal while baby C is sleeping - or a one handed food object (banana, apple, granola bar) while strolling him around the house;
7. trying to shower, go to the bathroom, get out of my jammies - all while he is napping or occupied by a toy;
8. pulling my hair out - during his crying jags when NOTHING will soothe him - I can actually feel myself coming apart at the seems;
9. making sense of the emotions, thoughts and feelings that flood thru me on a daily basis - hormones? Mood swings are such a hoot!;

10. being quiet and watching my miracle sleep.

Being a mom of an infant is super hard work. I had no idea how all consuming this little person would be. I have spent the past almost 12 weeks with him - watching him grow and develop his senses and become more aware of the world - well - our little world. Reality is knocking on our door - soon - Ill go back to work full time and he will enter daycare. I'm not sure how to deal with this fact yet...

We are about to celebrate baby C's first Christmas and in my opinion, he is the best gift ever. My little one who defied all odds and insisted on being here.
xo