So Much....

Life can be overwhelming..Forgive me for stating the obvious - but that little fact is becoming more clear as the days go by and my bump (yes I have one! tho it is quite small) grows..Feeling overwhelmed plus pregnancy hormones equal a BAD day...That was yesterday - I felt as tho the whole world was falling down around me..

Being pregnant is really difficult - and some days I find it tough to enjoy..Now, before you throw rocks at me - let me just say - I am thrilled to be able to have a baby- I love my little peanut and can't wait to meet him/her..That said - there are days when I just want to curl up in a ball and cry - what the he*l did I do? Who am I kidding thinking i can actually do this?

I am no longer in control of my body - this little being who I have only seen glimpses of on the ultrasound has moved in and taken over..No, you cannot eat sushi, you are not allowed to go rollerskating(or blading) and don't even think about having a cocktail...Maybe it is because I have been so used to calling the shots for so long that it is difficult to relinquish control? If even for a short period of time?? My body is morphing into - I don't know what - I haven't weighed this much since the 1990's..These are things I can't control..Which makes me a bit unhappy. I KNOW this is all for a great cause - growing a baby is important hard work..But does that mean I have to like every day of it? Does that mean I'm not allowed to cry and fuss over my lack of control over ANYTHING?

I wish I could hit fast-forward to the end of September so I could be done with this and have my little baby..is this wrong??

Anyhow, I hope you are not judging me or thinking me unfit to parent - I am just struggling a bit right now..I hope pray I feel better soon - maybe tomorrow.. I have my 16 week check up and if I have an ultrasound - I will be able to get to see my little uterus tenant again..
xo